Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive

I read an interview with General Norman Schwarzkopf several years ago in which he was asked if he ever thought about defeat during a battle.

He said that in the middle of a battle, there's no time to think about defeat.

You just keep thinking about different ways to win.

Schwarzkopf's observations apply directly to business. They apply directly to life.

Inspired by what he said, each year, I update a list of "success factors." These are things I have done or have seen others do that reflect what it takes to win against seemingly impossible odds.

Often, when times are tough, we get so distracted or worried that we don't stop and think of all the times we've succeeded in spite of daunting odds. That's when it's most important to remember them, though, because you have more tools, strategies and tactics at your disposal than you may realize.

On my own scheduler, I have a separate tab where I've written my "success factors" down so I can easily reread them.

Also, posted on the side of a bookshelf near my computer, I have something I copied from Robert Kurson's amazing book Shadow Divers: The True Adventures of Two Americans Who Risked Everything to Solve One of the Last Mysteries of World War II.

It's a series of insights about perseverance and success that he gained after life-changing experiences as a deep-sea diver – one of the most dangerous jobs in the world.

Among my favorites from his list:

- If an undertaking was easy, someone else already would've done it.

- If you follow another's footsteps, you missed the problems really worth
solving.

-  Excellence is born of preparation, dedication, focus, and tenacity;
compromise on any of these and you become average.

-  Examine everything; not all is as it seems or as people tell you.

-  The worst possible decision is to give up.

I hope that Kurson’s list provides you with food for thought for your own.

Write down how you've succeeded in the past. It will drive you forward.

How to Give Critical Feedback

WHEN YOU ARE IN a leadership role, you are frequently in the position of giving other people critical feedback. And in criticism, as in comedy, timing is everything.

When you’re giving constructive feedback (including positive feedback, although I’m focusing on constructive criticism below), try to give that feedback as soon as possible. Here’s why:

1. The issue(s) will be fresh in everyone’s mind.
2. You’ll waste less time ruminating over it (if it’s critical feedback) or rehearsing it (whether it’s positive or negative).
3. You’ll bring closure to the situation quickly. The longer you wait, the other person may wonder why you did, or they may have forgotten about it already and feel blindsided when you bring it up.

Here’s how to give constructive feedback:

• Do it in person. It’s the only way to pick up on the body language so critical to making sure your message is being received as intended. Handle this part badly by doing it by phone or email and the person will remember this negative event for years.
• Do it one-on-one. The other person will appreciate the privacy.
• Focus on the facts, not your emotions. Criticism is a dish best served cold. If you’re upset about the situation, talk with a third party to lower your upset before discussing it directly with the person it involves.
• Discuss the behavior, not the character of the person.  Even agreeing on what happened is sometimes difficult. Getting someone to accept your view of why they did whatever they did may be next to impossible. Focus on the behavior itself and leave it up to them to explain their actions.
• Ask questions. Make sure you learn as much as you can about the behavior you’re giving critical feedback about. Your willingness to listen may make the other person open to whatever feedback you’re providing.

Enhanced Persuasion and Negotiation Skills

Have you ever wanted to be a much better negotiator? To create more effective teams in your company? To communicate much more persuasively in your business and personal life?

If you did possess the skills to do those things better, how would your life be better and richer?

If you're interested in how the smartest and most persuasive negotiators and master communicators think about and develop these skills, then listen to this idea-packed interview I did with communications master David Frees.

To listen in just click this link or copy and paste it into your browser.

http://www.instantteleseminar.com/?preview=3&previewbar=1&eventid=9207669

We discussed:

• Why employees resist change, and how to get them "unstuck."
• Why it's so important to engage employees in strategic change and how to do it
• Why leaders fear asking employees what they think, and how to overcome that obstacle
• Why striving for perfection paradoxically can lead to inaction
• Awesome pre-screening questions to use before you begin a negotiation (and why they work)
• How to achieve rapid rapport with key potential business partners

The psychological keys to successful negotiations so you don't walk away disappointed

Make a cup of coffee and listen to the one-hour conversation I had with David Frees:

http://www.instantteleseminar.com/?preview=3&previewbar=1&eventid=9207669

Dave gives excellent resources through his tweets. Follow him on twitter at http://twitter.com/davefrees